Entrusted: A Drug of Desire Novel Read online

  Entrusted

  A Drug of Desire Novel

  Sidney Bristol

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  Inked Press

  Entrusted

  A Drug of Desire Novel

  A lifetime spent working undercover for the DEA has left Matías Govea wondering, just who the hell he is? A BDSM Dominant? A son? A brother? Who is he? He'll have to assume one, last identity before he can figure out the answers, but this might be the hardest gig of all...because of her.

  Raven Benally grew up in the cockpit of a plane under the watchful eye of her father and uncles. Only now the family is fractured and it's up to her to pull off one more gig before she can branch out on her own. All she has to do is fly the smoking hot federal officer to Mexico and back.

  When a simple buy-bust goes south, it's up to Matías to pull off the biggest deception ever. He must not only convince a notorious Colombian drug dealer he's not a fed, but he must also pass Raven off as a sexual submissive and his lover. In the far flung reaches of the jungle, these friends-turned-lovers have only each other to rely on.

  Warning: Contains a man fond of belts, a woman who didn't know she likes to be spanked, and a complicated web of emotions.

  DEDICATION

  This one is for the fans. The people who have stuck with me, patiently waiting for this book. Matías is your hero. And you are mine.

  ―SIDNEY

  Prologue

  Matías Govea stared out of the window at the twinkling cityscape of Washington DC. He’d already made arrangements to put the condo on the market in a few weeks. Sad to say, there wasn’t much to pack.

  He felt, more than heard, the other person move into the room behind him. If it were any other human being, Matías might have already shot him. But fellow DEA agent Damien Moana was an all right guy.

  “Man, we have to have a talk about your kitchen. There’s nothing in there to eat.” He dropped onto the sofa, watching Matías study him in the reflection on the glass. “How long has it been since you slept?”

  “Last night.”

  “More than an hour or two?” Damien’s stare weighed heavily on Matías, seeing deeper than he would like.

  Truth was, Matías hadn’t been able to sleep more than an hour or two without startling awake. Almost dying would do that to a man. Nearly six months, and though the scars had healed, and he was cleared for field work, he wasn’t whole.

  “You really going through with this?” Damien clearly wasn’t talking about Matías’ sleep issues.

  “Yeah.” He finally turned from the window. “I haven’t seen my mother in over two years. I can’t tell you the last time I spoke to my brothers. I nearly died in Chicago, and they wouldn’t have known. It changes a man.” There was no going back to the Drug Enforcement Agency for him.

  “Then why not quit? Just be done with it now. Today.” Damien and Matías were both agents, but unlike Damien, Matías was a deep-cover operative. He spent months of his life pretending to be the scum of the earth so they could get the bad guys in jail, but work like that left its mark.

  He sighed and scrubbed his gritty eyes. Where did he begin?

  Matías sank onto the couch and stared at the ceiling, sifting through his thoughts.

  “I’ve been working this case for years. Guy’s name is Victor. No last name. Real piece of work. Moves probably five or six billion dollars of narcotics every year for the Jiménez family. The suits asked if I’d stay on long enough to do a buy bust to grab him. I can’t say no to that. Reason we haven’t busted his ass is because we kept thinking he’d lead us to the factory.” He shook his head. Victor was a sneaky, slimy son of a bitch. It would be a privilege to arrest the guy.

  “Then what?” Damien asked.

  “No clue. Go home? Travel?” Matías could have a life. He hadn’t had one of those in a very long time.

  “Lillian’s seeing someone.”

  “Huh?” Matías peered at Damien, trying to place the name.

  “Shit.” Damien shook his head. “That girl was in love with you, man.”

  Lillian.

  Matías stared across the room, trying not to shudder at the memories. She was a sweet, beautiful girl, who desperately wanted to help heal him. She’d tried so hard to put him back together into the man she wanted him to be—and he couldn’t be that person.

  “I told her from the beginning we were just play partners.” Matías had never wanted to lead her on. He’d done his best to be honest with her, but she’d wanted to fit a square peg in a round hole.

  “I know man, I just thought you would want to know she’s not waiting around for you anymore.”

  “Good. She shouldn’t.”

  “That’s cold. Real cold.”

  Matías couldn’t disagree. But he wasn’t the man Lillian wanted him to be. Maybe he should have left sooner, or tried to be gentler about ending it, but he hadn’t been able to. Besides, work had come calling.

  “You doing this job alone?” Damien asked.

  “Yeah. Sort of. I’ll have my pilot.”

  “Uh, ho…”

  “What?” Matías frowned at the dark-skinned man perched on the other end of the sofa.

  “For a minute there, I almost thought you smiled.”

  “Fuck you.”

  Damien grinned, shrugging the words off.

  “I’m ready to get out is all.” Matías tightened down on his scowl.

  Raven Benally. His pilot’s granddaughter. She was sunshine and warm breezes. Nothing ever seemed to keep her down, which was half his fascination with the woman. Matías wouldn’t step over the bounds of professional friendship with her, but damn, she made a man want to. Except, after this job, he’d never see her again.

  It was probably for the best. A man with his tastes needed a certain kind of woman. One who liked leather and chains, not fluffy clouds and puppies.

  Chapter One

  Two months later…

  It was the beginning of the end.

  Where is she?

  Matías Govea stalked toward the silver cargo plane sitting on the New Mexico tarmac. He glanced toward the hanger every couple of steps. The only bright spot of this whole trip was missing.

  One more job, one more identity, and he was a free man. Nearly twenty years as an undercover agent across three agencies had taken its toll, and he couldn’t quite remember who Matías was anymore. In a way, that name felt like yet another alias. Some person he pretended to be, and not the real man inside.

  His cover identity was a much easier act to figure out. José Gonzalez was a thirty-six-year-old Mexican national who bought and sold narcotics from the suppliers in South America to dealers in America. José liked tequila, gambling and had family in Juarez. His rap sheet in America was a mile long, and he had several Mexican and American border officials on the take. In the scheme of things, José was an average middle man.

  One more job, and he could figure out who Matías really was.

  He glanced once more at the hanger. He had this stupid idea of seeing Raven again someday, when he was a better, worthier man, but closing the door on this life was probably for the best. His stupid crush on a girl would die with the job.

  Where the hell was she?

  Eddie Berlin, his latest handler and professional desk jockey, quick-stepped to keep up with Matías as they strode toward the Cessna Cargomaster. Heat radiated up from the tarmac in disorienting waves, making things in the distance ripple and sweat trickle down his spine.

  “Your flight plan to Lazaro Cardenas is on the books as Benally Cargo, like always.” For some reason, Eddie was on edge, and it wasn’t helping Matías’ mood. He just wanted it to be over with.

/>   “Yes, I know. I meet Victor, make the buy, and go with him to pick up the stuff. The team will sweep in at the port and grab all of us. We’ve been over the plan. It’s not my first buy bust, Eddie.” Matías had had his first at sixteen, working with officials in Texas. It was the start of a career that had changed his life. And not always for the best. This time, they were working in conjunction with port officials and an American cargo ship paying off a favor.

  “Are you sure we can’t convince you to stay on?” Maybe that was what had Eddie so anxious. He’d been sweating the loss of Matías, but that was his problem, not Matías’.

  “Sorry, man.”

  Ever since he’d turned in his resignation after the Chicago job that had nearly ended his life, Eddie had been up his ass about staying with the DEA. But when Matías couldn’t remember if something was part of a cover identity or his real life, it was time to throw in the towel. Do something else. About the only things he knew about himself were that he had family in El Paso that he kept his distance from, he had a silly crush on a woman he couldn’t have, and that his sexual proclivities ran toward the dark side. Maybe it was his desire to be in control, or something deeper, but when he’d discovered BDSM as part of a job, he hadn’t been able to deny the allure of that world.

  “Where’s Raven? I’m ready to go.” The plane loomed over them, the wings shielding them from the New Mexican sun.

  A slim figure filled the plane’s hatch, dark hair streaming around her face as the wind kicked up a gust. She squinted and held her hand up, peering toward them. Her cinnamon skin was baked to a golden hue. She was wearing jeans and a tank-top as usual.

  Matías could paint her blindfolded. Her facial features were sharp, high cheekbones, a pointed chin and almond-shaped eyes. He could see the Benally family resemblance in the generous mouth and the deep, varied browns of her eyes.

  A slow, contagious grin spread across Raven’s face and his stupid heart felt as though it were squeezed by a fist.

  There she was.

  Raven wasn’t his pilot, but she was a regular fixture at the airstrip. They liked to keep his comings and goings low-key and the people on-shift pared down to just the Benally family. It was safer for everyone that way. He’d spent hours cooped up in the hanger with Raven, playing cards, shooting the bull. There were few better companions for wasting away time. He’d hoped to see her, to properly say his goodbyes before this chapter of his life ended.

  “Matías.” She vaulted down from the hatch and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him so tight his scars ached. The embrace took him by surprise. He sucked in a deep breath, catching a faint smell of her shampoo and grease, likely from the inner workings of one of her planes.

  “Hey, little bird.” He turned his face away from Eddie and gave Raven a quick squeeze.

  Raven had been twenty-two the first time her grandfather, Hokee, had flown Matías out of their dinky, old airstrip in a two-seater plane. The cargo hanger and small fleet of planes were a major upgrade from those times. Matías had glimpsed her life over the years and watched her grow into a confident, capable pilot.

  “My plane ready to go?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” Raven stepped back and glanced at Eddie, her lower lip caught between her teeth.

  Uh-oh. Something was up.

  Matías glanced at Eddie, who shifted his weight from foot to foot.

  “Hokee isn’t feeling up to the trip, and Uncle Danny’s doing a hop to Albuquerque. I’m the only pilot licensed to fly the Cessna.” That was Raven. Direct. To the point.

  “Fuck. No. No way.”

  This wasn’t good.

  Memories of a woman who looked nothing like Raven, but who’d been at the wrong place at the wrong time, flashed through his mind. He’d tried to help her, to give her a way out, but the allure of money had kept sucking her back into the drug world. Matías had dug her grave himself. He didn’t want to have to dig another one. Especially not for Raven. His world could never, ever touch her

  “How hard can it be?” Raven shrugged. “I fly you down there, keep inside the plane and leave. I can do this.”

  Eddie edged closer. “Matías, it’s a good plan. Raven doesn’t even have to get off the plane. Isn’t that right? After you and the Columbian leave, she’s free to go.”

  “No.” Matías shook his head. Was this Eddie’s first bust? Was he stupid? “If this plane leaves before shit goes down, they’ll know something is up.”

  “So, I sit on the runway for a bit. No big deal,” Raven said.

  “It’s a big fucking deal. You don’t understand how superstitious Victor can be, or how dangerous this might get. He suspects everyone is trying to double-cross him. Why do you think we haven’t busted his ass already?” Matías glanced from Eddie to Raven. The desert dust stuck in his lungs, making it hard to breathe. Neither got it. They hadn’t sat in a room with Victor. They didn’t know how to calculate a gesture, pick their words or tailor their mood to fit Victor’s needs. They weren’t undercover. He was. It was his life on the line.

  He pivoted and stalked a few feet away, staring out at the desert. The Benally Cargo airstrip was on the very edge of the Navajo reservation that bordered New Mexico and Mexico. If it weren’t for the reservation’s cooperation with border patrol, their land would be a prime crossing ground for both illegal immigrants and drug smugglers. But they were lucky. People like the Benallys helped them.

  The DEA used companies like the Benally’s cargo business as fronts for undercover operations. These assets created a layered reality that was hard for the crooks to dig through. The Benally family though, they were good people.

  He blew out a breath and closed his eyes. Frustration would get him nowhere with Eddie. Matías had to think this through, really weigh his options and set aside his knee-jerk reaction to protect Raven from his world.

  Objectively, what Eddie said had merit and Raven was a great pilot. She’d never flown for him, but she was always in and out of the airport. Besides, in all the time Matías had courted Victor, he’d seen Hokee maybe a handful of times. If he played this right, perhaps he could keep Victor away from the plane entirely. He didn’t like the idea of Raven being anywhere near his job. She was a breath of fresh air. This evilness didn’t need to touch her.

  He took a deep breath.

  They could postpone the buy, but there might never be another chance. Word was Victor had been caught grumbling about the world order. If the DEA didn’t snag him soon, Victor might disappear. His bosses might dispose of a disgruntled employee. Victor might go into hiding. There was no telling what might happen, if they let this opportunity pass them by.

  From a timing standpoint, it had to be now.

  Being free of Victor would be one less dark spot on Matías’ soul.

  Which meant that he would have to be the best fucking agent this time around. No room for mistakes.

  There was so much about undercover work that he couldn’t control. His pilot? He felt as if that were something he should have had more input on. Clearly, Eddie had known and left him out of the loop on the decision making process. Sometimes Matías wondered if the DEA was actually in the business of catching criminals, because at times, their processes were plain fucked up.

  Eddie’s plan could work, but Matías didn’t like it. There was the chance it could go horribly—which was a danger with every mission. All he had to do was scrape by one last time and he was done. He just wished it didn’t involve Raven. Her family would skin him alive if anything happened to her. But all Raven had to do was fly him down south, sit on the tarmac, then fly home. Was he creating danger? Was this paranoia talking?

  Matías pushed his hand through his hair and blew out a breath. Lately, he was spooking at shadows. All the more reason to get out now before it got worse and he was no longer good for the field.

  He pivoted and returned to the duo. Raven’s gaze snagged his. Was it his imagination, or did she seem worried? Damn it. He should control his temper better. The l
ast thing he needed was for her to be anxious about the mission.

  “I don’t like last-minute changes. You’d think I’d be used to this by now. She stays in the plane, in and out only, got it?”

  “That’s the plan,” Eddie said quickly.

  “I’d like to get Raven a burner phone, in case she runs into anything.”

  “Already done.” She slid a plain, blue phone from her pocket.

  “Good. Eddie program it for you?”

  “He did.”

  “All right. Let’s get in the air. I can brief you as we fly.”

  “Great.” Eddie turned to Raven. “Let us know when he leaves.”

  Raven nodded and climbed the stairs into the plane. She had a smooth way of moving, as if her feet never really touched the ground. Matías followed her, his gaze drawn to the tantalizing sway of her hips. There was a tiny hole, worn in the seat of her jeans, just below the pocket. He could see skin, the same warm, cinnamon hue as the rest of her.

  He jerked his head up and shoved the misguided attraction into the recesses of his mind. Raven wasn’t the kind of woman who would understand his tastes. It was one of several reasons he’d told himself friendship was all he could offer her.

  There were few things Matías knew beyond a shadow of a doubt were born from him. His desire for control was one of them. Raven Benally didn’t know that side of him, and it was probably for the best that she never found out. Pretty girls like her didn’t need dangerous men like him in their lives.

  A little while longer and he would be free of the job, this constant change of identities. He’d be free to find out who he really was, and most of all—he could indulge all his desires.

  One more day…

  Raven kept her spine straight as she walked to the cockpit and radioed the tower for take-off. As usual, whenever the DEA flew in or out of the airport, they worked with a skeleton crew. It was just her, a cousin in the tower and another in the hanger, if they didn’t count Hokee, passed out in his office.