Entrusted: A Drug of Desire Novel Read online

  “We went to all this work of bringing you to the finest club south of the US, and you don’t play?” Oscar rolled his eyes.

  “Sorry, friend, but that’s not how this works,” Matías replied, his words short and clipped. Perhaps they needed to leave, and damn the impression they made on Oscar. Their safety was more important. Besides, he might be angry with Raven, but he wasn’t about to put her on display for these people. She was his to discipline. He glanced at her, and found her watching the play spaces with rapt attention.

  She glanced at him, a sad, wary expression on her usually unreadable face.

  He saw Victor out of the corner of his eye grab Oscar by the lapel and whisper something to the young man. Matías knew better than to acknowledge the exchange, so he continued to stare at Raven, who held his gaze. He was torn between losing himself in her sorrow and staying alert.

  Oscar stood, glaring at Victor, and adjusted his jacket.

  “We’ll see about this,” Oscar snapped. He turned and stalked toward the double doors.

  Victor gestured to the men sitting on the edge of the sofa, the ones who hadn’t spoken or drank all night. They nodded and rose as one, following the young man.

  Matías watched the exchange, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. Something was happening, but damn if he didn’t know what.

  “José, I must ask something of you.” Victor picked up Oscar’s empty glass and rolled it in his hand.

  Matías eyed the empty glass.

  “Have the feds ever approached you to rat out your providers?”

  “No.” Matías stared at him.

  “Have you ever worked for the feds?”

  Was this what Oscar was pissed about? What was Victor angling for?

  “No. What is the meaning of this?” He clenched his hand and glared, acting as if the idea offended him.

  “It’s nothing personal, but we have to know. For sure.” Victor spread his hands.

  “I don’t like this line of conversation. I’m no fucking fed.”

  “I know, I know. I’ve tried to tell my bosses this, but, they want proof.”

  “Proof? What more should I do for you? I’ve bought millions of dollars in product from you, I’ve always paid on time, we’ve done business for almost ten years—and you want me to prove I’m not a fed? After all this time?”

  A man wearing a red sash approached them, scowling. The Dungeon Monitor, no doubt. Matías inclined his head toward the man, who paused, a deep frown on his face.

  “Apologies, I’ll keep my voice down,” Matías said to him.

  “José, believe me. I understand, but see it from our side. It’s a big step of faith to take.”

  “Then what proof do you need?”

  Victor considered it for a second. “What if you introduced me to your biggest buyer? Since the Valdez Cartel went away, who else are you selling to?”

  Matías undercover role in the Valdez Cartel had given him the intimate knowledge of their operations to believably place José in the mix. But without the very real entity, he’d have to create a buyer. One that would impress Victor.

  He frowned, as if he were considering the suggestion. Considering how much of his real life they’d happened upon, it would need to be an agent he trusted completely. Someone who could play the role, and be believable. There weren’t many on his list, but the first one he’d trust with his life was Damien Moana.

  “I can perhaps make that work. When?”

  “Tomorrow? Day after?”

  “You’re in a hurry.”

  “No, not at all, but if you were a fed, you couldn’t get anything lined up in time.” Victor smiled over his glass, but it was not a happy smile. It was one that chilled to the bone.

  Not enough time?

  Matías would see about that.

  chapter Eleven

  Raven sat by herself, peering around the dungeon. The Columbians had either left, or were lurking around the fringes, watching the play. Matías was nowhere to be found. Would he leave her here? If it weren’t for Níłch’i, she would consider it fair. She couldn’t even enjoy the dungeon or find much interest in the actions of the players.

  Matías knew she’d lied. Everything would change now.

  “You have dangerous friends.”

  Raven glanced up at the woman she’d seen earlier wearing the red leather pants and corset. Even her lips and hair were shades of red. She sat down on the coffee table in front of Raven, her gaze seeming to stare deep in her soul.

  “They aren’t what I would call—friends,” Raven replied.

  “Then you’re a smart girl.” The woman’s Spanish was rough, halting. It was clearly not her first language.

  “I speak English.” Raven changed languages and continued.

  “Well, that’s a relief then.” She smiled ruefully. “You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.”

  Raven took a deep breath. “Relationship troubles.”

  “Ah.” Her brows rose and she nodded. “I’m Anne, by the way.”

  “Raven.”

  They shook hands and for the first time in a while, Raven felt as if she’d found a friendly person.

  “May I ask how you identify?” Anne asked.

  “Identify?” Raven blinked at the woman.

  “Are you a submissive, Mistress, kinkster?”

  “Oh.” Raven rolled the question around in her head. “I’m not sure. This is all still pretty new to me.”

  “Okay, do you like doing things to people, or having things done to you?”

  “Done to me.” That was an easy question.

  “Your man, what about him?”

  “Dominant.” Of that, there was no doubt.

  “I would offer you advice, but I’m not particularly skilled in relationships, either.” Anne shrugged. “I can, however, give you a tour and answer any questions you might have. Compliments of the house.”

  “I’d like that, if it’s not too much trouble.”

  They rose from the sofa and began a tour of the room, pausing several feet away from people deep in the throes of a scene for Anne to explain what was being done and often why. Her insight into her clients was fascinating and eye-opening, and Raven liked getting up close and personal with the equipment no one was using. It was a fast and furious education, but the more Anne showed her, the more interested Raven became.

  “He must be special,” Anne remarked as they stepped into one of the private suites. Judging by the disarray, it had been in use not long ago.

  “Who?”

  “Your dominant.”

  Those words stabbed her.

  “I don’t know that I’d call him mine.”

  “Well, you feel that way.” Anne spoke so matter of fact, as if she knew Raven’s heart better than herself.

  Did she feel as though Matías was hers?

  Her heart ached at the thought.

  “I guess I do,” Raven replied, staring at a spot on the floor. “I did something wrong, and I don’t know if I can make it right.”

  “I hear you. Been there. Done that.” There was a world of hurt in Anne’s eyes for a fraction of a second.

  Was that going to be her? Would Raven’s mistake ruin what might have been? Was it crazy to want more from Matías than just a cover story? What about after he left the DEA? Would he have wanted to see her again before her lie?

  “Have you tried apologizing?” Anne asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve always found a blow job can help smooth things over.”

  The comment didn’t sound quite so shocking, coming from Anne. But Raven didn’t think Matías could be won over through sex. She’d violated the one place where he knew who he was, and for that, she didn’t know if there was a way to make up for it.

  “Madam?” The sash-wearing man from earlier stepped through the doorway.

  Anne turned to her. “Someone needs me. Please, hang around. And I hope you two fix things.”

  “Me, too.”

 
; Raven made a slow circuit of the room, peering curiously at the furniture. Half of it, she recognized from her tour, the other half she could only guess at its use. Especially the wall of toys. That was so far beyond her. The room had a bedroom theme, with two king-size beds at the far end with rumpled sheets, with posts and canopies. On closer inspection, she saw rings screwed into the posts. It was a new lens through which she was viewing the world. A decadent one that was also far more honest than her own life.

  What had Matías awakened in her?

  Everything was happening so fast there wasn’t a lot of time to process it all. But, when it boiled down to it, what Matías did to her made her feel in ways she’d never before experienced. What could be bad about that? What was there to second-guess? And how badly had she screwed up?

  “Señorita Benally.” The voice crawled over Raven’s skin, turning her stomach as her throat constricted.

  She turned toward the man, her nerves tying themselves in knots as Victor stepped through the door. He had a glass of wine in hand, maybe the same glass he’d nursed since earlier.

  “Hello, señor. I must confess, I only know you as Victor.”

  “Don’t try to be sneaky now. I’m Victor. There’s no need for formalities between friends.” He took a few steps toward her, wagging his finger.

  She remained rooted to the spot. There was no other exit, save for the door behind Victor, which was already partially closed. She couldn’t likely dart past him, at least not without starting something else. She’d already screwed up enough, running from Matías’ supplier wouldn’t be good for business.

  “I apologize, I only meant—”

  He stopped, so close she could reach out and touch him. Victor waved his hand and she barely avoided flinching. Matías wouldn’t have told her to avoid being in the same room with Victor alone unless he had a good point.

  “What did I say? We’re friends. No need for apologies.” Victor smiled, but it only made her feel cold inside.

  “Thank you,” she said for lack of a better reply.

  “I apologize for the way Oscar handled things earlier. I was going to broach the topic with Matías in private but,” Victor shrugged, “Oscar has his own way of handling things.”

  “We’ll handle it,” Raven replied. It was the only thing she could think of to say. She glanced at the door, but couldn’t see into the dungeon.

  “Tell me about this thing the two of you do.” Victor reached out and selected a black riding crop from the toys hung on the wall.

  Her blood pumped so hard and fast she could barely hear him.

  “It’s private,” she replied.

  Victor slapped her thigh with the crop. She took a step back, and he tilted his head to the side.

  “Come now, we’re friends.” His voice lowered and there was a decidedly predatory glint to his eye.

  Raven licked her lips, frozen to the spot. Her natural reaction was to punch the guy in the throat and knee him in the nuts. She would never put up with a man striking her, much less in fun, save for what she did with Matías—which was entirely different. However, the situation was so much more complicated. What was the right thing to do? How did she react? Did her actions now endanger this mission or their lives?

  “I don’t think—”

  Victor pulled his arm back and swung. She couldn’t move fast enough in the dress and heels to get away, so she grabbed the crop, wrapping her hand around the flexible rod, and twisted. Victor growled and something dangerous flashed in his gaze. He lunged toward her and she stumbled back.

  “Raven.” Matías’ voice boomed in the small space, freezing both her and Victor.

  In the blink of an eye, Victor was calm, serene and completely unassuming. He straightened his coat and turned toward Matías.

  “I thought I told you to stay put.” Matías glared at her as he approached them, but the anger wasn’t aimed at her.

  Raven dropped the crop, glancing between the two men. She licked her lips, unsure if she should go to him or not.

  “If you said that, I didn’t hear you. I’m sorry.” All she’d understood was that he was going to use the phone. Raven clasped her hands behind her back to keep from fidgeting.

  “Do you have plans tonight?” Victor asked Matías.

  Matías turned his head toward Victor, and in that moment, she wouldn’t have traded places with the man for all the money in the world.

  “We’re going back to the condo. You should leave, Victor, before you overstay your welcome.” There was no denying the thinly-veiled threat. Raven held her breath, torn between swooning for the man and crawling under the bed to get away.

  “Good thing the car should be here.” Victor upended his wineglass, finishing off the last of it in several gulps and placed it on the edge of a table. “Good evening, my friends.” He sauntered from the room, as if he hadn’t been a second away from accosting her.

  Matías followed him and closed the heavy door, sealing out the sounds from the main dungeon and leaving them in near silence. He grabbed a heavy, wooden chair and dragged it in front of the door. She didn’t think it would keep anyone out, but the gesture made her feel safer.

  Alone, Matías turned toward her, his gaze no less harsh. She’d still done wrong.

  Only the deepest bass reverberated through the room. His shoes thudded on the stone floor as he paced toward her. She swallowed hard, but refused to look away. She’d own her wrongdoing and the crappy reasons why she’d done it.

  He stopped less than an arm’s length from her, his mouth compressed in a hard line.

  I’m sorry, her mind screamed, over and over again, yet she couldn’t speak. Her voice had left her.

  For several, long moments neither spoke, and she withered under his gaze.

  “Did he hurt you?” Matías asked.

  “No.”

  “He did something.”

  “He popped me with the riding crop. Once. I told him to stop, and when he tried again, I took it from him.”

  “Good girl.” She was such a sucker for those two words. He pushed her hair behind her ear and for a moment she breathed easier. “How much business do you do with my contacts?”

  “Me? None.” She shook her head. The tension wrapped around her, threatening to smother her once again.

  “Don’t lie to me, Raven.” He took a step toward her and pulled his hands from his pockets.

  She flinched, more from the heat of his anger than the fear that he would harm her.

  “I’m not lying.” She tipped her chin up and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how long or who Hokee has flown for. I found out by accident.” She took a deep breath. “I was going to leave, you know? I was at the airstrip to tell Hokee I was out when I found out you were coming and they… You’d have found Hokee. Like that. I panicked. Is what they’re doing wrong? Yes. Hell yes. But, they’re my family, so I thought—if I just do this one thing for them, when they do get caught, my conscience will be clean and I’ll be long gone. I never thought things would turn out this way or that I’d have to lie to you.”

  Her shoulders sagged and the weight of her guilt threatened to pull her through the floor.

  “Do you have any kind of idea what could happen to you because of them?” Matías crossed his arms over his chest.

  “No. Jail, I’m guessing.”

  “Federal jail. Maybe being on the reservation might help you out, but if they’re loading that plane full of narcotics, that’s going to be enough to put someone away for a very long time.”

  “I know. I just—wanted away from it. I promise you, I didn’t know.”

  “Then why didn’t you tell me when the plan changed?” The calmness with which he spoke was more eerie than his anger.

  How to put what she felt into words? She licked her lips and stared over his shoulder at the wall, letting her eyes lose focus, as if that would bring an explanation forward she could articulate.

  “Because…I stopped thinking about them, and started thinking a
bout you. Us. What we were doing. How you made me feel. You’ve always made me feel…I don’t know. Safe? I was going to tell you, ask you for help, but everything’s…” She forced herself to meet his gaze. He had to know—to see—that she was telling the truth. “I realize I’ve broken your trust. That you’ve shared part of yourself with me that you hide from others. There is no excuse for what I did. It was wrong.” And it would be her shame.

  Matías grasped her jaw, fingers pressing into her cheeks. “It was stupid. And reckless. Sometimes, you have to let people face-plant in their own mistakes.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why did you put yourself at risk for their stupidity?”

  “Because…they’re my family.”

  “Family shouldn’t put you at risk like that.”

  “I know, and that’s why I was going to fly you to Mexico, fly myself home, and leave.”

  “You should have left as soon as you found out.” His grip on her face tightened, and she welcomed the pain.

  “They’re all I have. Without them, I don’t know how I’d make it. I dropped out of high school. I have no formal aviation experience after getting my license, I can’t get a job anywhere else. I’ve been trying, but with only my GED, I’m good for nothing, no matter that I can fix anything with a propeller, and can fly anything with an engine and a rudder. Do you get it? I didn’t want to cover for them, but if I didn’t—the DEA might take everything. It’s fucked up and wrong and if you want to hate me for it, okay. I screwed up. I’m sorry they knew and you didn’t. I had no idea he would find out or that it would matter to anyone but you.”

  “From the moment you walked out of that bathroom, you were mine. Do you understand? Everything you do and say and are, is mine. If there is a problem, we handle it. Not you. We. Do you understand?”

  She swallowed hard, her heart hammering, and nodded.

  “Say it,” he demanded.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “I want to bend you over and spank you until you’re black and blue, then sit you in a corner for a couple of hours.”

  If that would earn his forgiveness, she’d do it in a heartbeat. It didn’t make any sense, yet sometimes, things didn’t have to.